Things to note before reading: Word count - 3,103. John’s words are in bold and blue text. Actions are in bold and black text. JunSeok’s words are in bold and red text. All thoughts are in bold and italics. Words from other characters are in bold and orange text. We hope you enjoy this work of fiction. BL Fan Fiction “An Introvert’s Desire: Falling In Love With A K-Pop Idol” KPOP STORIES|Jul 22, 2022 BL Fan Fiction “An Introvert’s Desire: Falling In Love With A K-Pop Idol” (Chapter 2) KPOP STORIES|Aug 19, 2022 BL Fan Fiction “An Introvert’s Desire: Falling In Love With A K-Pop Idol” (Chapter 3) KPOP STORIES|Sep 9, 2022 Happy reading!
JunSeok’s POV - Misunderstandings bring us closer.
A year later. Days have taken a blissful turn for me as the past couple of months have been filled with nothing but the best memories. John has been a blessing and each day, it feels like I am getting to know him all over again. We have had a couple of challenges along the way, there have been many points and situations where I thought he would break up with me. Looking back now, one of the biggest issues that took a toll on our relationship happened a couple of months ago. A couple of months after we officially became boyfriends, my group began preparations for a new comeback. This was even more complicated than before as the pressure was clearly evident. Both from the members to the agency. Even though we had exceeded all expectations with the last comeback, that somehow made this one feel even more important. “I have a thing I do during preparations like these. I call it my creative journey. There are weeks were I truly become a hermit. I am locked in the studio and cast away from the world. I start off with a couple of days playing random notes, creating random melodies, and sometimes choruses. These can sometimes total of 50 different styles and melodies. Then I begin to listen to them one at a time. Creating possible concepts for each sound. This part of my routine can take almost a week because I do not just draw up the concept but the roles each member would sort of play.” “After this is done, I sort of take a break from my Hermit ways as I present these ideas to the creative team. After days of explanation, arguments, and feedback, we either decide on the ones, eliminate, or keep for the future, and the ones we would go with for the comeback.” “This bit is always so nerve-wracking for me. Since these ideas are sought after like my babies, I often get annoyed watching them tear up or criticize it. But somehow, after my furious state has ended, I do understand their POV.” “Now that the concept and melodies have been approved, I am back in the studio but this time with a team of writers as we all sit to create a full fledge story with each song. I believe songs should tell a story from start to finish. It shouldn’t just be about a trendy style, its message and sound should have an impact on the minds of its listener. This has been my driving thought while creating music.” “With extra months of preparations and recordings, the songs are done, and now time for choreography. I am a very good dancer but when it comes to choreography, that bit goes to Hwi because he is simply a genius. His dance moves are so good and he teaches really well too. When everything is all done, presented to the agency, and approved, it is practice! practice! Practice!!” I explained this diligently to John when I got the message of the new comeback. He patiently listened to my every word without making a single sound, and after I was done, he simply said “I understand. Truthfully, looking ahead, this might not be too hard. If we try to communicate from time to time, I think it will be fine. Even though we won’t see as often, I would still like to know if you’re doing okay.” His words were reassuring and kind. It made me feel like everything was going to be okay, and I was perhaps worrying about things a little bit too much. This is the first serious relationship I have been in ever, and I do not want to do anything that would make it not work. Well, as it turns out, even hope is not enough and when push comes to shove, the realities of the situation fully sets in and life does take its toll. Looking back now, I probably should’ve handled it better but I guess my frustrations were also at a high and I couldn’t think clearly. When the time came, I got into my Hermit stage of production and at first, things were okay. I tried to call John at least every 3 days and we would talk for end. Honestly, he was my source of relief because things weren’t just working as they should. I felt a creative block and with the intense pressure to make this comeback a hit, It even got worse. Soon, I became angry with everything and reclusive. I think the other members understood this and would try to help too. But somehow, it became worse and soon enough, it began to affect my relationship. 3 days turned to weeks and weeks turned to ghosting. I would see his text but I wouldn’t respond. I didn’t know how to. I felt terrible over my actions and I just couldn’t bare to hurt him. Somehow, his words were the reassuring sense of comfort I could rely on, I believed everything would be okay. I felt if I got this right, after this stage, we will be okay. Maybe Intentionally put my career before my relationship, but that’s because I had no choice. I wasn’t the only one affected by this, there were others whose future was tied to me. Eventually, he stopped texting for a while. I didn’t notice till the day when I finally submitted the songs for the album. Finally done with the recordings, mixing, and arrangements, the songs were ready and we were one step closer to our comeback. It was a week till the release of the song and we start promotions. And even though we were still practicing the choreography, we were pretty confident with how good well it all came together. With a day off to rest, I decided to visit John at his bar. Looking at the time, I knew he wouldn’t be at home and he’d probably be slaving away in the bar. With my apology flowers and treats in my hands, I galloped like a horse to the bar. I knew there might be an awkward tension between us, we haven’t spoken to each other in months. But I also knew he had been waiting for me and I had to be the one to make the first move. Getting there, there were just a few people seated and chatting away with the soft music playing. And the staff some of whom I recognized, others whom I didn’t. It seemed business was really doing well for them. One of the female staff named SullYoon excitedly waved at me. No matter the disguise I wear, she always recognizes me. We had to come clean about our relationship when she caught us making out in the office a couple of months ago. I was panicking and thought it was over for me, my life as an idol would perhaps be done for. But John had a calm talk with her and she understood and promised never to say anything. I guess the young people are truly more open-minded as they say. Since then, however, she has been our own personal hag and confidant too. Now, 3 people knew about our relationship. SullYoon, WooYoung, and Hwi. Honestly, as an idol, it felt scary that this big secret was not as much as a secret anymore but also, it provided some kind of relief and knowing that there were some people who knew and understood me. Anyways, I digress, back to my apology visit. I briskly walked over to SullYoon who smiled at me so happily. “You are in big trouble”, she said as she hugged me tightly. “For weeks, all he could do was cry.” “He felt so bad, he couldn’t talk to you, he didn’t know if you were okay or not. You weren’t responding to his texts or calls.” She continues. “I have never seen him in that state before.” “WooYoung and I tried our best to make him happy but I guess we really couldn’t.” I felt my heart drop to the ground while listening to her words. I knew I was a jerk for not being in communication with him but I never knew it was this bad. “One day, we even had to drop by your agency’s building. He felt it might be weird if he went there looking for you. He didn’t know what kind of question to ask but he just wanted to make sure you were okay at least. Thankfully, we saw your manager at the entrance, John recognized him instantly because he frequents here sometimes, and it seems they already had some rapport.” “He asked him how the group was, seeing that they hadn’t made any public appearances in months. And he explained they were all working hard. Especially you, he talked about you having a very hard time creating music and you just started getting things right.” “John breathed the loudest sigh of relief and on our ride back, he started to cry again. I think he felt a bit guilty. He probably felt like you had forgotten about him and that was why you hadn’t called or reached out yet. It took a couple of weeks to have him smiling again and thankfully, he is now. But you’re still in big trouble Mr.” “Where is he now?” I asked with a sense of eagerness. “He is in one of the VIP rooms. There is a customer there, I think he likes John, he’s been coming here every day this past week too.” Flashes of jealousy and anger crossed my face and I could feel my ears burning up. I heard SullYoon’s laughter and she said “Looks like you truly do care about him then. You look like you’re ready to pounce.” I didn’t even respond, my legs were already moving ahead, with my hands firmly gripping the flowers and the treats. “If anyone touches him, they would see their fingers cut off.” I thought to myself. I opened the door where the music was playing and quickly spanning the room, I found him, chatting away with a handsome man. This must be the guy. “Argh!” I walked up to them and grabbed him by his hand, forcefully pulling him up. This action shocked him and the others in the room including the handsome and annoying stranger. “It’s me, let’s go”. Those were the only words I said to him as I pulled him along. “Hey!” The handsome annoying stranger called. “It’s fine, he’s a friend. I will be back. It’s fine.” John said trying to calm him down which made me even angrier. Getting into his office. I slammed the door shut and threw him across the wall. “You said you understood!” “You said you understood!!” I basically screamed in his face. I felt like my heart was about to combust. He hadn’t cheated on me, I know this but I felt angry, angry at the thought of the possibility, and angry at myself too even being a contributing factor to that. But another thing that made my heart beat so fast was being this close to him. Even in this state of anger, I wanted to Kiss him so badly. To feel his warm hug. To be comforted. It was then I realized, the slump, the anger, the sadness, it was all because I missed John. At this realization, my hands slowly fell off the wall and I found myself falling into his body. Tears trickled down my face. I couldn’t help but sob loudly. “I am sorry.” “I am so sorry.” I say amidst my loud tears. John didn’t hug me back. No matter how tightly I gripped him. It felt like he was trying to break free from my hug and I didn’t want to let him go. “I am so sorry.” I continued. After what felt like an eternity, I felt his hands on my back, one wrapped softly around my lower back and the other gently patting my shoulders. It was soft and comforting. It felt like this was what I needed the past couple of months and that thought made me sob the more. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I am here.” He said softly in my ears. My heart felt whole at his words and I knew it was a forever statement. He is not going to leave me and I felt safe once again. I let go of him and he looked at me with nothing but pure love and even though I wanted to kiss him till he dropped. I knew we had to clear the air first before anything else. He had the same thought too as he led me to the couch and beckoned me to seat down. He made some warm tea, my favorite Chamomile tea, and brought it to me. Sitting next to me, it looked like he was ready to have “the talk” with me. I braced myself. “How are you?” He started. “It must have been so difficult right?” “I am sorry I couldn’t be there to share the burden with you.” These were not the words I was expecting to hear from him in this situation. I had been the one who had messed things up to this point and he was the one apologizing? That made me feel even worse. Maybe he truly blamed himself for me not being able to reach out but that wasn’t the case and I knew I had to make things right. “No no!” I responded, “I should be the one apologizing.” I began to explain in detail, every single thing that happened. From my slump to how I felt angry at everything, and how I felt like I was slowly transferring that anger toward him, which made me stop talking to him. I explained the pressure I felt and even though I didn’t mean to make our relationship feel like 2nd place, I did because I had to. After I was done. He hugged me tightly. This wasn’t warm like before, it was filled with passion and almost a sense of desperation too. I won’t lie, this made me happy. Happy to know that he was scared too. “I didn’t know what was happening to you and I got so scared. I felt something was wrong and I needed to make sure you were alright. I even had SullYoon follow me to your agency one time too. I just wanted to know you were safe and healthy. I knew you’d come back to me but I just wanted to know if you were alright.” He said as tears slowly trickled down his face. This time, I was the one to reach out to him as I pulled him into my warm embrace, he is my baby and even though he had been trying to act strong and put up a brave face, he was hurting. After a couple of mins. He was all smiles again and he began to ask questions about the comeback. All of which I answered diligently. He would smile from time to time and I felt happy and relieved. We chatted away for hours. Talking about the concepts, the variety shows the group had recorded, and promotions season. “We won’t see each other for a bit, yes?” He asked with a hint of sadness in his voice. “Yes.” I responded bowing my head. “But I promise, it won’t be like last time.” I will have time to chat and video call now." I continued with a chipper in my voice, trying to sound optimistic. It worked because he smiled in response. “Okay.” “Just don’t get hurt.” He said. That did it. I knew this was the right moment and I went in for a kiss. And as soon as our lips touched, it was like the world went silent and nothing else moved but our lips. It was filled with sweet hunger and passion. Like we had been waiting for this moment and didn’t want it to end. I knew I could be here for eternity and wouldn’t want to let go. Present day. Laying in bed with John’s head resting on my shoulders as he softly coos into the nape of my neck. I have this sudden realization that this is all I need. Since then, we have no doubt had our moments and fights like every other couple but we also knew what we had was beyond special and did everything we could to make it work. Reconciling wasn’t that hard actually. We just needed to look each other in the eyes and that was it. John especially knew how to get me to apologize. Just his soft pouts and poor man pose on the bed would have me doting on him. He truly had me in his soft palms. The cheeky bastard. Gives him a soft peck on the forehead. He moans softly in response. Looking back now, many of the things we went through this past year, have made us better and stronger. And like he would say “it is not easy dating an idol, but it is worth it.” Oh BTW, promotions ended very well. We didn’t get our first win till the 3rd week but looking at the stiff competition from idols who made a comeback during the same time as us, we were surprised we got a win much less 3 during promotions. Now that everything is over, we do have a long break before the next comeback and this time, I am going to convert the extra room in John’s apartment into a studio. Since we are not moving out of the dorms yet. I can’t get my own apartment yet. I brought it up last week and although he was a bit adamant, he received the idea well. And I just need to present it in a good way to the agency. Maybe this will make them get me my own apartment instead. But regardless of the outcome, I know I am always going to have my happy ending with John. Fan Fiction: Lifting Love: An Irresistible Entanglement (Chapter 1) KPOP STORIES|May 13, 2022
